Archive for August, 2008

Men Suffer from Menopause

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

 
Menopause is a female issue, not a masculine one, so the feminazi’s will tell you. I beg to differ, men suffer from menopause as well. Do you think that the feminine half of a couple is the only one to suffer when she has a headache, or sore muscles, tendons or joints. Is she the only one to suffer when she is having prolonged periods o! r exceptionally heavy bleeding or has a dry vagina.
 
By the time your wife gets to the age where she is going through menopause you are probably alone together, the kids have grown and hopefully moved out of home, so you wear the brunt of her moodiness and stress. The two of you have been together for about 20yrs and you can still remember when she was the most wonderful woman on earth.
 
She never used to be like this, but all of a sudden she has become a real bitch, whingeing, whining, complaining all of the time, and sex life, what sex life? Before you used to get your end away whenever you wanted wherever you wanted. Not now, there is always an excuse, and if you complain you aren’t being understanding of what she is going through.
 
A marriage can break up because of menopause. You may be thinking that men are selfish, that they are not understanding of the pain that their wives are going through. But what about the man, why can’t the woman think that her husband has needs, that sex is his way of having that feeling of closeness to his partner.
 
No man likes to think that he is getting old, and most men still think that they are young no matter what age they are. But women have a different outlook on life, they think that they are old because they are now going through menopause. Some women wallow in old age, they start saying that they are too old for certain things, especially sex.
 
You are never too old for sex, as long as you are physically capable. When you are older you may need to make more of an effort to lead a fulfilling sex life, but it is worth the effort. As part of a couple isn’t it each persons responsibility to ensure that your partner is happy?
 
This is why you see a lot of older men with younger women, it’s not that they don’t like older women. They just don’t want to have to go through those menopausal years again. They still want to lead a normal life, they want to get what enjoyment they can out of the time that they have left.
 
Men have to make an effort to understand what their wives are going through, and believe me they are going through hell. I would hate to have to go through what they do. But women also should understand what their husbands are going through.
 
Counselors will tell you that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else, that is true. But in a truly loving relationship if you don’t love your partner more that you love yourself you might as well be alone.

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Invasion of the Penisheadrians

Friday, August 29th, 2008

 
Fellow human I bring ill tidings there is a alien presence in mist, but even now the horror that is the Peninheadians are slowly taking over our workplaces, bars and taverns, buck’s nights and 21st’s. They appear just like you or me until a time when the sound of merriment echoes down the streets. It is at witch point they reveal to the world there real face, and become life of the party, these are the Peninheadians.
 
It is a sad Fact that where you find one Penisheadian you will soon find more as others who envy the fun and attention that these creatures garner males of the human species desire to become a Penisheadian themselves.
 
To accomplish this transformation a prospective Penisheadian will search the local area for there own Penisheadian mask but unless they visit there local adult store then there life will be incomplete and they will long for the life they can’t have. For it is at these stores that the required headgear can be found and acquired.
 
What to do if you see a Penisheadian:

Get Your Penis Mask Now

 
Do not apply fermented beverages to a Penisheadian as there small mouth opening means that without a cylindrical drinking aid their small lips prevent them from consuming the desired volumes of said beverages, without spilling it and causing even more humour to there cronies and new found friends
 
Groups of Penisheadian in one location can get disorientated as they have trouble recognising themselves from one another. To prevent this name badges are recommended so embarrassing incidents don’t occur
 
Caution don’t stand between a Penisheadian and a camera as the presence of these near a Penisheadian causes them to uncontrollably find themselves posing for shoots to remember the night for years to come.
 
If someone you love has given in to the urge to join the Penisheadian’s invasion don’t fret, the joy and happiness that they experience, and the good memories that they will bring can only spread the invasion across the world. And perhaps you to will join the invasion.

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Friday Night Sex

Monday, August 25th, 2008

Another Friday night at home alone, Pete was unemployed, no job meant no money to go out and party like he used to do. But Pete was a lucky man in some ways. His girlfriend Liz knew how stressed Pete would be, not only about losing his job, but also about not being able to afford to go out, so she bought a couple of bottles of cheap red over to cheer him up.
 
Liz told Pete to sit on the lounge and she would get a couple of glasses and put some music on. When she came back with the glasses, Pete poured the wine while Liz put the music on. The CD player was at the bottom of the Stereo stack and she had to bend over to put the disc on. Being the minx that she is , she bent at the hips allowing her mini-skirt to ride up to show Pete that she was wearing the tiniest thong that she could find in her drawer.
 
Pete forgot all about being unemployed and started to feel happy again, a semi erect penis always makes him happy. He slid up behind her and placed some tiny little bites on her butt, at first gentle ones, building up to some not so gentle ones. Liz didn’t pull away, quite the contrary, she backe! d up to him, giving him the encouragement that he was looking for.
 
He forced her skirt up over her butt, and bunched it up around her waist, displaying her thong stretched taught between her butt cheeks and across her pussy. Pete could see that the thong was already wet, where it passed over her cunt hole, and could tell she was horny as hell.
 
He slipped his fingers beneath the thong, and ran them across her clit, where the thong was stretched tightly across it; she let out a small sigh as he did so. Using his free hand, Pete pulled the fabric of the thong clear of her cunt hole, and gently eased two of his fingers inside of her sopping wet quim.
 
Liz was enjoying the attention, and rocked gently back and forth on her hands and knees, forcing his fingers deeper inside her with every thrust. When Pete knew she was ready for it, he undid his own jeans and forced them down to his knees. Using both hands, one placed on each side of her ass, he spread her wide and positioned his cock in front of her waiting hole.
 
Pete whispered to Liz that if she didn’t stop sucking him he was going to cum, so she s! topped, turned around to face him and rubbed her slimy pussy onto his face, his chest and all the was down to his toes. She even fucked his toes for a little while just to keep herself on the brink while Pete could recover himself. This worked for Pete, he was coming back from the brink of the vinegar stroke.
 
She got off her man and went to the lounge and knelt on it, leaning onto the backrest, telling Pete to fuck her doggy style. This way he could control his thrusts and make himself last longer. He also got a great view of his cock going in and out of Liz’s oozing pussy. Pete stuck his thumb into Liz’s hole with his cock still in her getting it nice and slippery so that he could thumb fuck her asshole at the same time as his cock pounded in and out of her cunt.
 
Pete could feel his cock inside Liz’s pussy while his thumb was in her ass, this turned him on so much that he couldn’t hold out any longer. He blew his load inside of her and told her to stay where she was so that he could watch his cum drip from her hole and taking hers and his love juices he smeared it around her ass hole, getting her ready for stage 2 of the night.

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Penis Enlargement Fast

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Use SizeGenetics to add inches and boost your confidence
 
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Exercise Program DVD from PenisHealth:
 
This exercises DVD is designed to help speed up and enhance . While You can see gains just by using the device alone, when you combine your device work with these powerful exercises you have a winning combination to bring you gains quicker.
 
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As well as the DVD you also get access to the PenisHealth program online. As with the DVD, these exercises help bring your size gains even faster. In addition you will also learn secret exercises that can help you gain harder erections on demand and get control over your ejaculations so you never climax too soon again.
 
Sex Guide DVDs for better sex :
 
Unique to the SizeGenetics system these better sex DVDs are included with every purchase of the full system. Getting a bigger penis is only part of the process, once you also know how to use it you can become the kind of lover that women dream about. The confidence in knowing this is immense and can help you approach any woman and talk her in to bed!
 
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As if all of the above wasn’t enough, you will also get free bonuses worth over 0! This includes acess to Mens Forte, an online mens magazine masses of content dating, fitness, entertainment, money, business, travel and sex. In addition you will get two free ebooks guiding you on the art of seduction and also how you can get yourself in shape for those all night sex sessions!
 
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The KegelMaster for the ladies

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Instructions for the use of the Kegelmaster

Before Beginning -Due to production process used in the manufacture of the KegelMaster 2000TM, small imperfections may be present. Please before you start using your The KegelMaster 2000TM, a carful inspection is recommended. If any are found they can easily be smoothed out by gently rubbing with the smooth side of an emery board.

Note: It is recommended that you empty your bladder before use.

Firstly grab your KegelMaster 2000TM and your KegelGlide 2000 lubricant and let’s begin. Let’s start by using only one spring in the KegelMaster 2000TM and place it on the rear pin located just in front of the hinge.

Close The KegelMaster 2000TM with your hand and tighten the knob on top to hold it closed. Do not over tighten! Lay down on your back, with your head resting on at least one pillow, relax, and bend your knees keeping your feet flat, about two feet apart.

Make sure you have lubricated the vaginal area with a water soluble lubricant and the unit has been lubricated with Kegelglide 2000. Now position The KegelMaster 2000TM, with the knob up.

We are ready to insert The KegelMaster 2000TM Place The KegelMaster 2000TM between your thighs. Insert the unit into your vaginal opening until it is firmly in place. You will notice this when The KegelMaster 2000TM feels much smaller when locks into place. Note: The KegelMaster 2000TM is only inserted approximately three inches.

Grasp The KegelMaster 2000TM unit firmly by the handle. You are now ready for your first adjustment!! This is done by turning the knob at the top of The KegelMaster 2000TM counter clockwise – that is until the knob is no longer touching the top of The KegelMaster 2000TM or until some discomfit is felt which ever occurs first. Don’t worry; this discomfort is your muscles being put under tension so that the contraction exercise can proceed.
 
Note: If after turning the knob is not touching the top of the KegelMaster 2000TM and you still don’t feel any pressure from unit, then you will need to add another spring. If you have the right tension, squeeze down against unit you are easily able to close down with your vaginal muscles completely for thirty closings, remove the unit from your vagina and change the position of the springs, moving them forward one pin.

Adjusting Tension to accurately close The KegelMaster 2000TM during the exercise: If you can still easily close down on the KegelMaster 2000TM all the way, for thirty closings, then you must one again move the spring forward to yet another pin.

If you find that the single spring is on the front pin and you are still able to easily close unit all the way, for thirty closings – after insertion, then you must move the single spring back to the rear pin (1) and add a spring to the next forward pin (2), then repeat the process. The ideal spring tension is determined by one’s ability to close unit completely at the beginning of the exercise but becoming unable to close it completely at the end of 30 closings. This eventually will not be hard to do and it’s a lot of fun to see how many of the springs you can squeeze for 30 closings, having difficulty with the last five.

Maximizing Your Sequences and Sets(you can never overwork the vaginal muscles). The exercise sequence starts with 3 sets of 30 closings daily. With each rep you attempt complete closure of The KegelMaster 2000TM, pausing between each set of 30 closings for 15 seconds. It is recommended to work up to 6 sets of 30 closings a minimum of 3 times a week. If an individual chooses, they may do as many sets and closures that they feel comfortable with. Your goal is to fatigue the muscle until there is very little movement.

Louise Servage works at the kegelmaster a business focused on helping women with incontinence and getting there life on track visit Kegelmaster Australia this second.